The hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye.

Howdy-do all. Well, as some of you know, Dree and I had hit a bit of a holiday speed bump. We went down to the garage yesterday to pull out our Christmas decorations. We started putting up our nick knacks and I leaned over at one point and asked Dree if she remembered what box we put the lights in. We couldn't find it, so we figured that we must have left it down stairs. So we went back down to check and still couldn't find it. So we went upstairs to our neighbors to see if maybe she brought them up with her by accident. Oh the joy and fun. It turns out that the woman who was a "friend" of hers and had been storing her stuff in our space had stolen some of her Christmas decorations and apparently decided to take the box containing all of our lights, our candles (which Dree had since she was a kid), our star and our tree skirt. Needless to say, we were more than a bit miffed. I called the landlord and bitched for solid 2 minutes. I started out in the very silent creepy serial killer voice and by the time I was done I had reached irate dissatisfied customer in a retail store and trying to make a spectacle out of myself to get something free volume. I included the fact that we were sick and tired of the son & his girlfriend upstairs screaming at each other and cursing up a blue streak and his ex-con ass smoking pot every 5 seconds and the smells wafting down. I informed him that he would be reimbursing us for our stolen items and would be making changes in the duplex as far as the neighbors upstairs were concerned. He came by today to "talk to us". At which time we were informed that yes, he was going to reimburse us for the things and he would be building us a separate storage space. He then proceeded to tell us that he "felt bad" about trying to get rid of the son and his girlfriend. So, in honor of the holiday and the movie that I'm currently watching, here's a little something I like to call "An Ode To My Landlord" (and I freely admit that I stole everything except a few words):

Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like A. X., my landlord, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber up there in New York with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, fore-fleshing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is. Hallelujah. Holy shit. Where's the Tylenol?

Sigh. Onto better times. Merry Christmas all!

One Less Roommate

As most of you know, back in May I adopted a Greyhound (Kira) from the NJGAP organization. As most of you are also aware, we've had our ups and downs. But things seemed to be on the upswing until the past week. Some little things began to creep back into her behavior; peeing on the floor, whining uncontrollably. Today an event occurred forcing me to make a very important decision.

I have placed Kira back with the NJGAP organization. I'm sure that they'll do a good job of placing her in an environment more suited to her needs.

I'm sorry things couldn't work out, girl.

A New Job

Howdy all! Guess what? I'm a two job gal! I've taken a position as an Elementary School Art Teacher. I've got students from Kindergarten to 8th grade. I spent the last week doing lesson plans and re-arranging things with [place] work schedule. They're cool with it... thank goodness. I need the extra cash :-) Fingers crossed and happy thoughts!

Ashamed

I look around at the human beings wandering this planet.

I hear the story of the college student who thought it would be funny to tell her college newspaper that she planned to use her own aborted fetuses as an art project.

I see stories of people who train their dogs to kill other dogs so they can make a few bucks, or worse, just for the fun of it all.

I see the children that get beaten on a regular basis cause their daddy's a drunk or a druggie.

I see people killed because their skin is the wrong shade of color.

I hear stories of people torturing their children out of their own mental illness.

I read in the news about a person I thought I knew and respected being something I'm ashamed of.

I hear stories about a sick bastard that repeatedly takes advantage of a defenseless mentally retarded women.

I see and hear all these things. And no matter how much good is around and in between it, sometimes I can't help but think…

There are times I'm ashamed to be a human being.

March for Life- January 2008

Hi gang. It's that time again. The Annual March For Life in Washington, D.C. is taking place on Tuesday, January 22. The bus is leaving from St. Anselm Church on Dunks Ferry Road (in my old neighborhood). I still have to get the exact details (leaving & return times). The reservation is $10 and you should plan to be gone the whole day. Please let me know ASAP if you are interested in going and I'll get back to you with the details & what you should bring with you.