The Christmas Party

Well, what an interesting night. Today was the Annual Family Christmas Party. I’d like to thank all those who made it and made it the very interesting night that it was. I feel a bit like Stan from South Park. I learned some things tonight. I learned...

-One night stands are better than masturbation... according to some people.

-The concept of fish sex confuses Heather.

-Mary Kate does fake orgasms for cartoons.

-Joe has a sweet ass and Rich would have some of that... once there was enough Red Bull and Vodka flowing through his veins.

-Fuck is Karen’s favorite curse word.

-I got to hear Dree say the word rimjob (which was just funny).

-When your Aunt works with a friend of yours, it makes the party all that much creepier.

-When your younger cousins are having children, you truly are getting old.

-There is a subtle difference between sexual intimacy and basic human contact.

-Not every man is a sexual deviant.

-The subtle ways to know if your woman is faking an orgasm... and also the not so subtle ways.

-Erin is the jewelry/accessory queen.

-Some men actually look forward to pleasing their partner, while some just wait till their partner tells them she’s done while he thinks of Wookies, Ewoks or Sand People.

-Never give Rich Red Bull and Vodka as a Christmas present.

-If they’re cool enough, your family will adopt your friends (and vice versa).

-Mike is desperate to be Irish. (The Irish ROCK!)

-Erin likes arranging play dates for pets.

-Greg and Adriane are doomed to have big headed children.

-The definition of a true friend is someone who will clean another friends vomit out of your trash can. You then own them your lives.

-Never try to pick up someone without warming up properly. It hurts.

-40’s of Killan’s would be cool.

-Towards the end of his life, Allister Crowley was just plain weird.

-I don’t like to call attention to myself (according to Karen)

-I blush... alot (according to everyone).

And most importantly...

My friends just plain rock :-)

Did I miss anything?

Shouldn’t you all be asleep? You have work! Till later all.

Artist Mentality

Ah, time off. It's a good thing. Helps you get some errands done, take time to chill... and rest. Wasn't feeling all that great last week, I actually had to call out on Wednesday. That's when the dizzy spells started. It sounds alot like what my mom's been going through the last few months. Her doctor said it's Temporary Positional Vertigo. You can get it from a bad cold or virus. You can be standing perfectly still and for no reason get violently dizzy to the point where you fall over or throw up. The sucky part is (as my mom's been finding out) it can last up to 3 months. Luckily for me I haven't had a spell since Sunday. Keep your fingers crossed :-)

Onto what I did today. I finally saw "Rent" this afternoon. I was a fan for a long time and saw the play Senior year of high school. It funny how your preception changes after certain events in your life. When I was in high school it was this play that said dirty words and was pretty funny at times, but had a good central meaning. I can honestly say that they made the movie very well, but I saw it in a different light. I spent most of my college years with people kinda like the people in the movie; artists doing what they had to to get their work done and shown, drag queens, and my boys. After I saw the movie, it kind of made me sad. I miss those days of the little artist comunnity that hung around the Art Institute and the gang that I met afterwards at the Academy of Music in the telecharge department. I miss doing student films, running from places cause we didn't have a filming permit, the days of no-funds theater puting on your performance in a crappy dinner club in Frankford and the days of no sleep as your were desperate to finish that all important project. Most of all I miss my big burly man, Dean. There was nothing funnier than the looks on people's face when this huge 6 & 1/2" tall brick shit house of a black guy came lumbering into view and this gay lispy voice came pouring out :-) It's hard to believe that I only knew him for two years and even harder to believe that he's been gone for seven. I barely had time to come to terms with the fact that he was Positive before I had to come to terms with the fact that he was gone. Love ya Sweetness, and I miss ya.

Ah well, enough depression for one day. I'm sure happiness lies ahead between Christmas parties and New Years Eve. Later kids.

Just shoot me now

It has reached that god-forsaken time of year again.

My dad came to pick me up from work on Friday. I got in the van and my father was smiling this shit-eating grin. I asked him what was up and he just turned up the radio. SUNNY 104.5 was on... and it was playing Christmas music. 24/7 Christmas music from now until January. Luckily I was at the Bensalem store so I only had to sit through 2 or 3 songs by the time we got home. But then I walk in my house.... and "Scrooge" was on the TV. I instantly went dowstairs to hide. Then (due to the SEPTA strike), Mom's been taking me to work the past few days, and she TOO has on 104.5. I can't escape it! Why must Christmas take 2 months to celebrate!

Due to my own stupidity, I missed out on some good times last week. Eh, it happens. I'm picking up the pictures from Halloween tomorrow. I'll post this year's pumpkin carvings soon! Work is boring now, so I'm spending my time reading, watching DVD's and trying to write. I'm desperate to win NANO this year, but I'm stuck AGAIN at 5,329 words. I can't get my brain past this one passage. I know what I want to do, but can't get the english language to cooperate with me :-)

Two days in a row off! Mom and I are going driving at some point in those days. I'm hoping to have my license by mid-December. Keep your fingers crossed everyone! Oh, anyone up for a midnight show of Harry Potter next Thursday?

Stuff and Stuart

Greetings all. Not many things to report. Work has finally slowed down (Yahoo!), so now I shall spend the next 6 months getting paid to read books, write stories and watch DVD's for 8 hours everyday. Ahhhh.... good stuff. I find myself surrounded by work drama (ex-store manager promoted to DM in love with new store manager... who is married and I bear a resembelence to) and friend drama (which is known and need not be dragged out) to my own- I pulled a G. last weekend, the difference being that afterwards I realized I acted like an ass an apologized to the appropriate people and then on Wednesday I wrenched the living hell out of my back and shoulder trying to pull 2800 lbs. of sand. As Dane Cook says "I'm dumb".

And so we look forward to the weekend. Friday, going to the movies to see the above mentioned comdiean and my man "Berg" (also known as Ryan Reynolds) in "Waiting" with Rich, Heather and Karen. Then the couple are off to see the band show and Karen and I will be getting into some sort of hijinks... but hopfully not too expensive ones as I just bought a laptop off her friend and the Ren Faire is Sunday :-)

Saturday I'm hanging with Rich after his show, maybe at Kenny's bar. Fun should be had by all.

Sunday.... my Christmas. REN FAIRE! My dress should be done by then. Mom's working on the sleeves as we speak. Dress is a replica of one worn by Liv Tyler in "LOTR: The Return of the King". And no Erin, you can't have it :-)

I promised myself this year I wouldn't get into too many new TV shows. I did well, only 2 really caught my eye. "Bones" on FOX just before "House" and "Night Stalker" on ABC (on the same time as CSI). "Night Stalker" is a quasi-remake of a show on in the 70's that my dad liked and made me watch. Very good, kinda X-Files'ish (before it sucked). And may I just say....

Stuart Townsend..... Can I keep him? :-)

Till later kids.

Walking home

A nice, long walk home gives you time to think, be introspective.

Good things happen to those who wait.

That's a crock of shit.

Bad things happen to good people.

Also, a crock of shit.

You know what what happens to good people and those who wait? Nothing. Absolutley nothing. They sit around their entire lives watching it go past them thinking, "Gee, I wonder when this really cool, good thing is going to happen to me. I'm a nice person, I do nice things. Gee, won't it be great when it happens?" The next thing they know, they're old and alone and have done nothing of any impact with their lives. They just existed.

God/Karma/Fate/Destiny/Whoever...

I know there's nothing in that black bag for me. But couldn't you just tell me that and get it over with? I'm tired.

Karma is my friend

As most of you who know me well enough know (did that make sense?), I am a big believer in Karma. Though I may be [at times] brutelly honest and sarcastic, I would never purpously hurt another person just for my own gratification. I actually have a very dim view on the subject. As most of you also know, I had worked for the god awful company "Scrubs and Beyond" for well over a year, bent over backwards and went above and beyond for shit pay and crap satisfaction. When I had come back from a weeks vacation to see my friend Em's (Heather) wedding with Karen, the day I came back to work I was let go for a completly shit reason by Kelly (manager) as per the order of our DM -Mrs. J. B. All hail the mighty bitch queen from hell that sounded like the mom from "Bobby's World".

Two nights ago I sat infront of my computer late at night and got an IM from Alexis, a girl I used to work with. She had something she HAD to tell me. I said, "Please tell me someone keyed Kelly's car or Ben (her husband) got fired from yet another job". "No," she replied, "but just as good."

J. had a nervous breakdown and left the company.

All hail you now, you conniving, rampaging bitch!

Ah, I feel better :-)

See y'all at the luau!

Stuff in general

Been having some good times, been having some bad times. Hmm, I don't think Dickens would have written it quite that way :-)

My boss, the douche bag asshole that was giving me grief over going to Greg's grandfather's funeral now owes me all :-) We had inventory last weekend. I stayed an extra 3 hours to help finish. Then the following day I was at one store, left there for an hour and a half bus trip to go to his store and stayed another 3 hours over. I was thus rewarded with a third day off. Yahoo! He was then audited for his inventory. Guess who came in to help fix it. Now he's telling me how I basiclly saved his job. Dang :-)

Got another letter from another penpal who wants to marry me. And this is his first letter. It must say "Get your VISA here" next to my address :-)

Karen is the bestest. She's supplied me all the new season Dr. Who episodes that didn't show here in the States. I'm a happy girl:-)

Got to see ...in theory play and got to play photgrapher again. Unfortunatly, Rich informed me that a guy that he wrestled with (that I was aquianted with) was killed in a motorcycle accident Thursday. We had shots in memory. And as Karen said; Chris, may you be in heaven an hour before the devil knows your dead. You'll be missed.

Then we get to today. After a very long day of people asking the same question about their pools and what they should use, I closed down, shut down, locked up and walked across the parking lot to drop off the store's deposit with nothing else in mind but dinner and some TV. I got to the bank, put in my key and pulled the drawer. It was stuck. I yanked three times, then it finally flung open... with another store's deposit stuck inside the two flaps. There had to be $1000 in cash and a pile of checks. I stared at it for a minute and thought, "Geeze, someone could lose their job over this." I then placed my deposit in the drawer and closed it. I pulled it back again and made sure it was empty, which it was. By that time, my mom had pulled up behind me. I got in the car and told her what happened. She just looked at me and started laughing. "You know, someone out there is very lucky that you're an honest person."

Like I said, not all good, but not all bad. And who knows what the rest of the week will bring :-)

Later all.

Birthday Fun

To everyone that came out to Great American last night (Greg, Adriane, Erin, Mike, Karen, Tom, Ray, Dan, Bonnie, Shelby, Rich, Chris and Dave) and to Heather who stopped by later...

Thank you :-)

Last night was a great time. I'm still seeing visions of the communal chocolate cake. Thank you for helping me eat it. It was huge.... and chocolatey... and huge :-)

Also a thank you to the gang who hung at Karen's after. I'm sorry I had to leave early, but as you can see by this posting.... I'm up at the ass crack of dawn for work at a place I've never run before. Cross your fingers.

Oh and Erin? My mom liked the handcuffs :-)

Thanks again you guys. You are true friends.

Books, Sex, Smoothies and Birthdays

Another month, another book club meeting. "The Alienist" by Caleb Carr (my pick) was fairly well received by all, although we did have some of the same problems with the author's writing style. [JP Morgan? What the hell? :-)]

As it happened, as the book club was wrapping up I was treated to an impomptu Sex Ed class by a pretty tipsy Erin and Mike. Then the newly wed, newley returned Adriane and her newly goatee'd husband Greg joined in the discussion. I now know what the top 4 sex positions are, to never try reverse cowgirl with a guy with a slightly curved penis, never have sex standing up with a guy if he's significantly taller than you and always leave the air conitioning on as friction can cause strange sounds. I also learned NEVER to tell the most intimate secrets of your relationship to a friend... cause once the Sangria smoothies start flowing, they all know. (Although Sangria smoothies kick serious ass.) I now know more than I ever wanted or needed to about sexual postions, sounds, lubricants, birth and porn.

Much to my dismay, I finished the 6th Harry Potter book on Sunday night. As promised, I say nothing. And don't ask me anything. I refuse to tell. Erin, I'm working on Woman in White. And on a side note, I saw a soundtrack for the musical version today in "The Wall".

Some friends from work are taking me to Olive Garden on Thursday night for my birthday. Should be a pretty fun time, except that my boss is a little creepy. He's 36 years old, has at least 6 kids (not all in the same house or with the same woman), and has intimated that if he weren't with his current girlfriend, he'd go out with me. Icky. I have a feeling if I shared the same glass with him I'd be pregnant a week later.

Looking forward to Saturday night. Dinner at Great American, then there's talk of going to Karen's. Hope everyone can make it. And if anyone's unsure of what to get me for my birthday....

Seth MacFarlane in a small red ribbon.

And if won't stay, slap on the ankle shakle.

And if he still tries to escape, tell him to knock it off or you'll strap him to a chair and make him watch a loop tape of George W. Bush interviews with a commentary track by Hal Fishman.

Just kidding... about the last two parts at least.

Want men? Go overseas :-)

So it turns out that I'm the hottest thing to walk this Earth... if you're a man from overseas. I've been a member of the International Pen Friends organization for about a decade or so. You exchange letters, postcards, pictures and other things with people from countries that interest you. Over the last two years, I've had an increase in male pen pals. Now, most of you guys know me. And for those who don't, you have eyes. I'm not exactly the "in" body type. But apparently to men overseas, I'm a Goddess. To date, I've received 5 invitations to "come meet and visit" people, 2 people signing their letters "your boyfriend" and one marriage proposal. Why can't I find these men in my OWN country! Now don't get me wrong. I'm flattered that someone likes me, flabbergasted that a FEW someone's like me. But is it me, or is the prospect of having someone offer to pay $1000 to fly you halfway around the world to "meet" you a little creepy? What do you think, Dr. Hill?

Ah well, I'm off to finish cropping the Down The House pictures from last night. BTW (...in theory), awesome show last night. Sorry I had to jet so early. Friends, please visit www.intheoryrocks.com. They're a good bunch of guys. And they sing pretty good too.

So disappointed

I've waited for a year to see the new "Hitch Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy". I've read the books, I’ve listened to the radio show, I have the BBC show... Big old fan. Which is why I'm so disappointed. God, it was an awful version of the franchise! Granted, it wasn't a total waste... just mostly. Most of the best (and most quotable) parts of the series didn't even make it into the movie. There were a few inside jokes for those of us who are longtime fans, but overall... I'm very disillusioned now. Sigh. I don't hold high hopes for "Episode 3" either, but it's all I have to look forward to now.

Greetings all :-)

Hello everyone. I'm Sam and I'm new to this blog thing. Well, unfortunately I have now joined the ranks of the unemployed. I spent the day with my 9 year old god-daughter. I love her to death, but she wore me out. I don't remember having that much energy at that age. Man, if I could bottle that I'd be a millionaire. Well, hopefully I haven't made too much of an ass of myself with this blog. But if I have, please let me know... as kindly as possible.