Well, what an interesting night. Today was the Annual Family Christmas Party. I’d like to thank all those who made it and made it the very interesting night that it was. I feel a bit like Stan from South Park. I learned some things tonight. I learned...
-One night stands are better than masturbation... according to some people.
-The concept of fish sex confuses Heather.
-Mary Kate does fake orgasms for cartoons.
-Joe has a sweet ass and Rich would have some of that... once there was enough Red Bull and Vodka flowing through his veins.
-Fuck is Karen’s favorite curse word.
-I got to hear Dree say the word rimjob (which was just funny).
-When your Aunt works with a friend of yours, it makes the party all that much creepier.
-When your younger cousins are having children, you truly are getting old.
-There is a subtle difference between sexual intimacy and basic human contact.
-Not every man is a sexual deviant.
-The subtle ways to know if your woman is faking an orgasm... and also the not so subtle ways.
-Erin is the jewelry/accessory queen.
-Some men actually look forward to pleasing their partner, while some just wait till their partner tells them she’s done while he thinks of Wookies, Ewoks or Sand People.
-Never give Rich Red Bull and Vodka as a Christmas present.
-If they’re cool enough, your family will adopt your friends (and vice versa).
-Mike is desperate to be Irish. (The Irish ROCK!)
-Erin likes arranging play dates for pets.
-Greg and Adriane are doomed to have big headed children.
-The definition of a true friend is someone who will clean another friends vomit out of your trash can. You then own them your lives.
-Never try to pick up someone without warming up properly. It hurts.
-40’s of Killan’s would be cool.
-Towards the end of his life, Allister Crowley was just plain weird.
-I don’t like to call attention to myself (according to Karen)
-I blush... alot (according to everyone).
And most importantly...
My friends just plain rock :-)
Did I miss anything?
Shouldn’t you all be asleep? You have work! Till later all.
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